THE FARTHER YOU ENTER THE TRUTH,
THE DEEPER IT IS

(Bankei Zenji)

  These last few years have presented to me a beautiful journey of soul searching and the surfacing of inner truth. In all honesty I truly believe it came with a relapse back into substances after over 13 years clean and sober. 
  I realize now why the relapses came. Firstly, I had separated myself from a fellowship that was there when I needed it most, in the depths of my disease. I had stopped giving what was so freely given to me. Secondly, I realize that all substances make my brain cuckoo, not just alcohol. So with dental visits came surgeries, came pain pills, came relapse. Lastly, I hadn't truly surrendered to who I am and what I am. 
  Today I am at peace with me. I am learning to understand me and, more importantly, love me. And with each new day more me is surfacing that I embrace, understand, work on, and love. More inner truth appears miraculously before my eyes!  I delve deeper into myself on a daily basis and it's a beautiful thing because I have surrendered and have become rigorously honest. I have surrendered to a disease I did not ask for but turned around into growth and purpose and beauty

. I surrendered into knowing I am not in control and someone, something way more powerful and loving is guiding me toward greatness. 
  As I write this it all sounds a bit too goody two-shoes for me but this is how I feel and this is my life. The layers of the onion of my life are peeling off and I'm finally feeling more comfortable in my own skin. How good is that?
  After one week of retirement from Safeway I am blessed to be able to work hard and diligently on my own business. I get to be my own boss and answer to myself. Another wonderful gift of sobriety!
  With that, I wish you a mighty fine day and heaps of aloha!  Until next Monday...
  For those interested in my new business venture, I welcome you to visit my website at DeesignsByHarris.com. 
  Dee