We Sink to Rise

We Sink to Rise

Ralph Waldo Emerson

   I'm looking for this week's blog that I wrote earlier this week.  It's gone.  Totally disappeared.  Hate it when that happens.  Especially since I was pretty happy with it.  Anyone watch the youtube video about "memories"?  It’s hysterical!  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzSaoN2LdfU&feature=share)

   Anyway, I  see this quote by Emerson and it touches me.  I'll write about it instead.  Made me think about sinking.  Feel like I sunk a bit, got a bit sad, a bit pissed, a bit disappointed when I couldn't find my blog.  Get over it, Dee...shit happens.

   Then I get to thinking what sinking really means to me.  Sinking.  Going down.  Going down the drain of the sink.  Down the drain to the sewer.  Down to the depths of Hell.  Sinking has a negative connotation in my mind.

   To rise, on the other hand, has a positive connotation.  Rise.  Elevate.  Elevate to another level.  Get better.  Get to a higher level.  Heaven.  Nice.

   In the pettiness of it all I can take this quote and relate it to my losing my blog.  Just a little bit of inconvenience and wasted time.  Was the time really wasted, Dee?  No.  At the time I quieted my mind and reached into my heart which is what I do when I blog.  No, no time wasted.  Did this incident cause a "rise" in me?  Yes.  I am learning through the 12 Steps of AA and the fellowship to "live life on life's terms" and "to let go and let God".  This all happened for a reason.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Move forward.  Write another blog.

  I can really relate the sink and rise thing with my alcoholism.  Okay, duh, the sinking part came when I was in the depths of my disease.  When I found that I no longer had a choice of whether or not I wanted to drink, that was bad.  When it no longer was wanted a drink, but needed a drink, that was bad.  When I knew that taking a drink would only make things worse, that was bad.  When I knew that it wouldn't be only one drink but many, that was bad.  You see, I had to drink.  The disease and the obsession were so strong I couldn't fight them.  At least not on my own.  I wasn't a stupid person.  I wasn't a weak person.  The disease was just stronger than all my might and it won. 

   Now for the rise.  I like this part the best.  Once I became so desperate, hit bottom, swallowed my pride, and was so sick and tired of being sick and tired, the miracle happened.  Not just like that though.  I was so desperate that I prayed to my dad in Heaven who I feel died from this disease even though the death certificate says differently.  I never prayed.  I didn't go to church.  I didn't have religion.  But with that, soon thereafter, I found myself in a predicament, a dilemma, that said "Dee, ask for help".  I know in my heart that Dad came to my rescue.

  So I did.  Not that easy though.  I was ashamed.  Embarrassed.  Humiliated.  Scared.  Was the hardest thing I ever did.  Get honest.  Surrender.  Having been blessed with the opportunity of a 28-day treatment program, the rest is history.  Treatment is great, but for me AA is key.  Drinking will never be the same again.  My life will never be the same again!  I got to rise from the sinkhole to a place where I have purpose and excitement to wake up every morning.

   Had a not sunk I most definitely wouldn't appreciate what I have today.  My life is good.  I am content.  I am happy.  I have a fantastic relationship with my spouse and family.  I have more genuine friends that I could have ever imagined.  I live in a beautiful place on a magical island.  I have a purpose of helping those who are yet unable to help themselves.  My heart soars when I can be of service.  I have retired from my job to pursue my passion of art and a web-based business.  I am comfortable in my own skin.  I am able to love myself.  Indeed, we sink to rise.  I know I did.    

   With that, see you all next Monday!  Have a mighty fine day and week!

   For those interested in my web-based business of Gifts in Recovery, please visit DeesignsByHarris.com.  Aloha!