THREE THINGS CANNOT BE LONG HIDDEN: THE SUN, THE MOON, AND THE TRUTH

Three Things Cannot Be Long Hidden:  The Sun, The Moon, and The Truth (Buddha)

   Truth=that which is real or true=in accordance with fact or reality; correctly positioned, balanced or aligned.

   The sun is shining beautifully this morning as it usually does.  We recently had a magnificent full moon.  These things cannot be hidden but I often take them for granted. When I reconnect I immediately give thanks for this beauty and splendor.

   Truth, on the other hand, can be and has been hidden, by me and from myself.  However, in my recovery I am learning to be rigorously honest.  Do you realize how heavy lying, deceit and dishonesty can weigh?  They are intangible yet weigh me down to the depths of the ocean and I find myself drowning.  I need air!  I panic!  What a mortifying feeling of helplessness!

   That is how I felt while active in my disease.  I needed air so badly.  Death possessed my every thought.  But when I learned to be rigorously honest I could fill my lungs with life!  I had hope again.  I had gratitude.  I had purpose.

   My purpose for today is to give hope to anyone who feels like they are at the bottom of the ocean.  Get honest with who and what you are.  You are special.  You have a message.  You are worthy to be here on this earth.  Never forget it.

   Rigorous honesty does not come easily.  It takes practice and time.  But the weight will drop from your shoulders and your life will get better and easier. 

   Because I chose to be honest with you and myself, I no longer have to feel guilt, shame, embarrassment and humility about having the disease of substance abuse.  I did not choose this.  It is not because I have no self-control nor will-power.  It is what it is.  I am who I am.  Today I am grateful to have put the disease to rest and live a happy, joyous and free life.  I get to share this was those those in AA and those who are not.  I get to give you hope.  I get to put smiles on faces around me.

   I get to retire from my job at Safeway this week and pursue my dream of selling Gifts of Recovery.  To make a living at doing what I am so passionate about and have so much fun doing is truly a gift in my sobriety.

   Thank you all for this gift.  Until next Monday, have a mighty fine day!  Aloha!

   To view my Gifts of Recovery please visit my website at

DeesignsByHarris.com.

TURN YOUR MESS INTO YOUR MESSAGE

TURN YOU MESS INTO YOUR MESSAGE

  I don't know about you, but I've had a lot of mess in my life. Not so much the opposite of neat and tidy kind of mess, but I've made a mess of my life kind of mess.  
  This high-achiever, perfectionist person that I am found myself in a big, no humongous, shitload of mess. A disease I didn't ask for and character defects I didn't know I acquired brought me to a place of no return...or so I thought. 
  When I no longer had a choice about drinking, when it was no longer fun and social but necessary and secretive, I knew my life had turned to shit in a hand basket...the hugest mess I ever found myself in or ever want to be in ever again in my life!
  My message to you is that you're not unique (sorry).  Others, many, many others, have found themselves in that hand basket, or grocery cart full of their belongings living on the streets of hell. See the Devil's grin, horn to horn?  We don't have to remain there...all we have to do is put aside our egos, self-esteem, pride, embarrassment, shame, humiliation, and all that other shit we're drowning in in our hand basket of life and reach out your little baby-sized hand or pick up that thousand-pound phone and say "I need help".  With those simple little words I promise you your life will never be the same!
  When that finally happened for me I felt the weight come off my shoulders that I can't even explain. I felt I could finally come up for air. I felt a new freedom. I wanted to shout it out at the top of my lungs "I'm an alcoholic and I'm going to get help!" 
  I encourage anyone reading this who is living in your mess of alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gambling, computer games, whatever that is consuming your life and obsessing your mind, please say "I need help."  Call me or the wealth of others in your local phone book. Your life will never be the same; it'll be so much better. I promise!
  Today I see the ocean. Today I have a day off from work. Today I get to drown myself in my passion and be creative in my artwork. Today I get to sell my artwork so I can retire from my job and be my own boss (HP will always be "The Boss").  How good is that?  I've been blessed with  turning my mess into my message!
  If any of you are interested in my Gifts in Recovery, please visit my website at DeesignsByHarris.com or my shop atEtsy.com/shop/DeesignsByHarris.
  Aloha and have a mighty fine day...until next Monday...wishing you peace. 

I GET To...

I GET TO…

   What a beautiful morning in Kona!  Grey sky, sprinkling and breezy.  Not everyday has to have blue bird sky to be beautiful.  Days like these get my juices going to get "responsible" things accomplished.

    So today I GET to go to work.  I GET to schedule an oil change.  I GET to do some AA step work.

    What I really NEED to do is to be creative.  It's been well over a week since I've taken any time to follow my passion and meditate in my art.  I'm feeling it and I'm feeling it in a bad way! 

   Finding myself short and snippy.  Everyone using self-check-out at the store where I work gets more stupid by the minute.  What I usually can shrug off lingers obsessively in my mind that should be free and open for only good things.  Hmmmm...what’s going on?

    Now I GET to use the tools for living so graciously taught me in my recovery.  Journal, which I'm doing now (always takes the power out of what ails me).  Pick up the phone and share the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Quiet my mind and let my heart soar to heights where only greatness abounds.  Hit my knees and give thanks.

   You know I already feel so much better.  Yes, the coffee is kicking in as well.  But I'm realizing how much I take for granted.  How blessed I am to GET to go to work today. To GET to assist people who don't know how to use self-check-out and teach them to have no fear their talkative, uncooperative, and pushy register.  I GET to schedule an oil change cuz I GET to have a car!  I GET to have coffee and fresh water flowing from a faucet and shower head.  I GET to flush a toilet and not have it back up!  I GET to breathe this nurturing air here in Kona.  How simple was that to GET back centered?

  I'm even going to take a few minutes now to do something creative. I don't need to sit at the computer and try to grow my business.  I need to string some beads and grow my soul!  Ahhhh...thank you for getting me back in line.

  Okay, if you're interested you can check out my Gifts in Recovery at my website DeesignsByHarris.com or my shop at Etsy.com/shop/DeesignsByHarris.  Have a mighty fine day. I'll be back next Monday.  Aloha!

ALOHA MONDAY BLOG

WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE AN ALCOHOLIC…AND AN ARTIST

Aaahhh!  The Blessings!  Not a bad way to blog!

   When I was younger I never said I wanted to be an alcoholic when I grow up.  Too short to be a model or a stewardess.  Voice not good enough to be a rock star.  Too shy to be a movie star.

   But I did have a passion for creating things.  I loved designing paper doll clothes,  making troll doll clothes, then my own school clothes.   I made my own jewelry and India bedspread halter tops and curtains for my '68 Dodge van.   I painstakingly patched my raunchiest bell-bottom jeans with scraps of the bedspread material all over the barest spots and strutted around in my leather-fringed jacket and John Lennon glasses.  And  my gifts were all handmade!

   So the artist thing has always been there with me.  Just didn't realized the alcoholic thing was there as well, until somehow in the 90's I found myself drinking everyday, having to drink everyday, and realizing I was obsessed with it…and life was in the way of allowing me to do that.

   Many years have come and gone living that way.  As a matter of fact, I can't remember my adult life not living that way.  I continued being creative and even sold my stained-glass art for a living for some years. 

   Back in '98 while working a "real" job I found myself asking my dad up in Heaven to help me stop drinking.  Dad had died of the disease of alcoholism back in '83 in the gutters of Rhode Island.  This is my assumption from what I've heard.  I was always afraid of Dad, unaware as a child he was tormented by this disease as well.

   Dad helped me.  I reached my hand out, swallowed my pride, embarassment and shame.   Went to treatment for 28 days which was the beginning of a life that now has purpose and meaning.

   For over 13 years I was clean. I started out as the AA poster child.  Then "one day at a time" I stopped going to meetings, stopped contact with the fellowship, stopped giving back what was so freely given to me back when I needed it most. 

   So after having said "No thank you. I haven't had a drink in over 13 years, I picked up that shot that was left for me and immediately felt the Devil take over me...mind, body and spirit.  The old behavior immediately surfaced. The shame, guilt and disappointment was back.

   Dad came to my rescue again at my son's wedding in Puerto Vallarta.  I know he was there because my daughter-in-law's cousin who does readings felt his tremendously strong presence there.   I was shaken.

   Upon returning home I sought professional assistance.  I was scared.  I was scared of me!  I didn't want to go back to having no choice about drinking.

   My family physician and psychologist encouraged me back into AA…into another new beginning of a life that has even more purpose and more meaning.  Had I not relapsed I wouldn't have started making my AA Triangles and I wouldn't have started selling them to my brothers and sisters in the fellowship.  See how the HP works?   See how The Promises come true?  See how the pieces of the puzzle start to fit together?

   It's always been my dream to be an artist.  HP gave me that gift and now I get to share it.  I get to share even more by giving back my recovery by being present for those who need it most...pay it forward!

   When I grow up I want to be an alcoholic.  Were I not doesn't mean not being an artist.  But it does mean I now realize I’m not in control, that things happen for a reason, and I am totally grateful and humbled by being an alcoholic.  How cool is that?

   Oh yeah, if you're interested in experiencing my AA Gifts in Recovery, check out my website at DeesignsByHarris.com or my Etsy Shop at Etsy.com/shop/DeesignsByHarris.

Yep, too cool!